April 5, 2010

Where to begin? The realization that I only have two weeks left here in Pokhara is quite hard to wrap my head around. I have never grown so close to a group of people in such a short amount of time. And I am so content here. I moved into a beautiful hotel in Lakeside, Pokhara about two weeks ago. The place is absolutely breathtaking. Serene lakes, snow-capped mountains in the distance, bamboo and palm trees and exotic flowers. My surroundings are unreal. I wake up every morning and take a 20 minute ride to the counselling center via the local bus. I love this ride, being crammed in between happy strangers on what looks like some strange sort of party bus, with colored lights and posters and blaring Nepali dance music. It's completely bizarre. I listen to the foreign conversation all around me as I stare out the bus window, watching everyone begin their day: shopkeepers sweeping their share of the sidewalk, fruit vendors yelling out bargains, children in blue uniforms running to school. And without fail, there is always a cow or two laying in the middle of the four-lane traffic. Somehow aware of the power they hold in this culture as a sacred animal, they are relaxed amidst the buses and cars and rickshaws dodging them. It's all very amusing.

My days at the center are so happy. These girls are teaching me more than I ever thought I could learn from them. They are each so different, so special in their own way. But they all share equally heartbreaking pasts. Most of them were picked up off of the street. Thus, control and discipline can be a challenge at times. And there is often fighting, as is typical with teenage girls. After about a week here at the center, I decided to make my focus with them on self-care and self-esteem... something that they are all lacking. We've been practicing things like basic hygiene, and through art and modest conversation, I've been able to get a sense of how these girls see themselves. And it breaks my heart.

Aside from being at the center, I've also been on some amazing personal endeavours. Last weekend I woke up at 4:45am and hiked Sarangkot to watch the sunrise. It was an experience I will never forget. I also visited a Tibetan refugee camp, a Buddhist monastery, the national Gurkha museum, and some other Nepali landmarks. It's all been fascinating.

And so I am down to my last days with the girls. Every night I contemplate how I am possibly going to say goodbye to them, knowing that it will be forever, and that I will most likely never know what will become of them. It's a very helpless feeling. But I do know that they will remember me. That I am sure of. And it makes my heart feel so full to know that in some small way, I have impacted them. The other day I was sitting at the office computer when one of the girls came over to me. She arrived at the center several months ago. Ten years old, she was living and working on the street as a prostitute before being rescued. She speaks a hand full of English words. And so, she asked one of the women at the center to translate a note for her to give me. In her best handwriting, she managed to write, "Hallie Miss I love you. Miss you go to America and you come back to Nepal. Hallie Miss I love you. I feel so happy." And in that moment I knew that I had done exactly what I came here to do.

Today I have decided to surprise the girls with a trip to the cinema. I told them we were going this morning before they left for school. My cheeks still hurt from being kissed so hard. I also have some very exciting news. Thanks to the generosity and compassion of such good friends back home, I have been able to have a swing set built for the center. Three swings and a four-person see-saw. It should be arriving today or tomorrow. Not only is it so wonderful for the girls who are here, but it is something lasting, for the girls to come. I cannot thank everyone who donated enough for their kindness.

I have a meeting with the director of the center in a couple weeks. I hope to discuss future fund-raising that I can do for the center from home. The idea that a few hundred dollars a year could keep one of these girls in a boarding school that would provide education, shelter, and safety is so amazing. So, my fingers are crossed that I can organize some way to continue to help.

As for now, I am soaking up every second with them. I feel so blessed.